Welcome to Offline Dating!
Date like it's 1997.
Breaking news: dating in 2026 fucking sucks. We all know why: the algorithm on the apps is deeply broken, speed dating is wildly hit or miss, and our social skills in the wild are atrophying. Offline Dating1 is my attempt to remedy this, one personal ad at a time. Think of it as Carrie Fisher’s Rolodex in When Harry Met Sally… Each Monday, I’ll send out a newsletter with personals. Submit your own or respond to whoever strikes your fancy!
The rules: You must be over 18. Don’t be a jackass. No incel shit, no edgelord shit, no dickwad behavior of any kind (racism, misogyny, transphobia, anti-Semitism, Islamophobia, fatphobia, xenophobia, etc). No AI. No catfishing. If you mention pineapple on pizza, so help me god. This is not a democracy, it’s a dateocracy: I decide whose ads get approved. Be kind, be curious, treat others as you’d like to be treated. Currently accepting submissions for SoCal only (let’s say Santa Barbara and below, so LA, OC, Ojai, Palm Springs, San Diego et al are fair play).
Does this cost money? I might eventually charge for the Substack, but submitting a personal will always be free (though maybe spend the money you would have spent on Hinge this month on a donation to your local mutual aid fund).
Who the fuck am I? I’m Leila Cohan, a TV and film writer and person who has been mostly single since her divorce (and, even if that changes at some point, I still care deeply about helping people meet each other). I love the New York Times crossword, reading an obscene number of books each year, hosting parties, and estate sales. I started this Substack because I believe in love and I believe in community.
Need some examples? Sure! Remember when I mentioned When Harry Met Sally… earlier? That was foreshadowing!
30ishM, NYC. Dark humor, iconic sweater collection. Looking for a woman to duet to musical theater songs at karaoke, walk through the Met, or just someone I can make meow. Respond to harry@emptynycloft.com.
30ishF, NYC. Bubbly with an edge. Turn-ons: cuddling, airport make outs, and a really good pastrami sandwich. Looking for a man who can make me laugh and won’t get uptight about my days of the week underwear collection. Is that you? Respond to sally@auldlanesyne.com.
Sound good? Submit here. Happy dating!
I do realize this is happening over email, but just go with me.
I’m SO about this! Reddit is the only place we can do this at the moment and the results are dismal due to most men on Reddit looking for straight hookups. There needs to be a space free of any short term ambiguity in online dating 😩